Brooklyn Stylist Details His Journey To Freely Being Himself, Love & PRIDE

I met Neil Christian when we both attended Fashion Industries High School many years ago. He was a senior when I was a freshman and was one of the few people – given the age difference – open to making new friends and taking me through this new school journey, even if only for a year. Neil and I have stayed in contact through social media and I have watched in awe of his life, but also of his choices in love. From the time I met Neil, he has been open and comfortable talking about his sexuality, growing up a gay black male to Caribbean parents, and how Brooklyn and school was his safe space. In honor of Pride Month, I asked Neil to write about his journey of PRIDE and finding forever love with himself and his current boyfriend. – Ayanna Prescod, EIC OurBKSocial

I can’t believe I was asked to talk about something so important to me. Something I do so easily and with no hesitation. It’s not often you hear a 6’2, chocolate, African-American male, of West Indian decent, who grew up in old Bed-Stuy, talk about love and sexuality.

Growing up the youngest male child of a Jamaican father and Trinidadian mother, I had the responsibility of being the “perfect” son. My job was to learn from the mistakes of my older brothers make and vowed to my parents to never make them. Though this was what was expected of me, I would discover early on that being my true self would prove to be more disappointing to some than my eldest brother being incarcerated for manslaughter at the age of 23 — 20 years ago.

My earliest memories of one being their true selves was at Breevort Houses in Bedford-Stuyvesant. Anytime I would go visit a friend of mine who lived there, I would see openly gay men smoking on benches and chatting it up with the girls — being totally and unapologetically free. I appreciated the gay man wearing his full length fur coat, walking his Rottweiler and not caring what anyone thought of him. I wanted that. Those early moments let me know that I can be as fabulous as these men in these closed off housing complexes in “hard” Brooklyn and take it to my block.

In 1999 I was set to graduate from JOHN M. COLEMAN I.S. 271 on Hermiker Street. Old Brooklynites will know it was called Hopkinson before it was named Thomas S. Boyland. At this point in my life it was all about being cool, and I was. I had all the Jordan sneakers, was most popular and EVERYONE was my friend. I made people laugh and I was always “fresh-to-death”. I had to be that way. I was taught by my brothers that that was the only way people were going to respect me.

I did my two years in that school and applied to vocational high schools and I dreamed of going to school outside of my Brooklyn district. I applied to LaGuardia for drama, Louis D. Brandies, and Fashion Industries was my top choice. I had to take an exam, submit a portfolio and a movie review to be considered for Fashion Industries. I remember crying like a baby when I was told I didn’t get into  Fashion Industries. I cried to my guidance counselor because I was finally coming into my own, realizing who I was and knew I could be totally free at that school. She would quickly call the admissions director, and before you knew it I received an acceptance letter.

High school is where I learned to be 100% myself. I was the most popular freshman, everyone knew my name I was hanging with all the seniors I even went to their prom. This time, unlike junior high school, I wasn’t putting on a facade.

It was my sophomore year, in 2003, when I completely understood my sexuality and my attraction to men. I would finally find the love of my life at The Lab, a club that used to be located on Fulton St. in Bed-Stuy. I was with a group of friends friends and drawn to this tall black man with strong Caribbean features. Though, I would later find out that he had no connection to the Caribbean but I felt I had a really strong attraction to him. So much so that I was too nervous to talk to him. Through the years I would see him at several all-star talent shows and parties but I was always in a relationship whenever I bumped into him.

I moved from one relationship to the next in search of this life partner that I kept telling myself I needed. I eventually gave up because none of them were right. I was single for some time and during this time I would bump into him again. I knew this time I had to say something to him or it would never happen. After my fourth shot of Patron I went over to Junebug (that’s his nickname), told him take my number and to not leave without seeing me. He did just that.

Usually I would never entertain meeting a guy in a club, but Junebug had something about him that I couldn’t shake.

Our first official date was on October 7, 2017 and we have been dating everyday since then. I completely fell in love. The past eight months have been the BEST of my life professionally, personally and physically.

There is a misconception of moving too fast when getting into a relationship. Like if there was some kind of love rule book. Everyone is different and I knew for sure he was made for me. We are both comfortable with ourselves, know what we want, and are letting the relationship flow naturally. We have promised to communicate and be 100% honest at all times. We talk about everything, what makes us sad, our goals and the future together.
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According to him, I’m his “better half” and he helps me to truly love myself while also loving him.

The road to this point hasn’t been easy. This road can be complicated and misunderstood by many, but I can finally say, “I’m FREE.”

Neil has decided to write a love letter to his Junebug for helping him to get to this free and unapologetic point of his life.

Dearest Junebug,

Completing this task of explaining my journey made me realize how much more I love you. The moments of just being near you gives me this feeling of safety and that’s the best feeling I have ever experienced. My life is so much better with you in it.

We have this routine of just having a routine and I want to spend the rest of my life in that routine. We eat together and pray together everyday and that is so special to me.

Life is so unpredictable. Changes always come along, in big or small ways. I don’t know what happened that this sudden change has turned my world upside down. I don’t know exactly what it is, it just hit me, but there is something really special about you.

It might be all the things I see on the surface, the things that everyone notices and admires about you, qualities, capabilities and a wonderful smile obviously connected to a warm and loving heart; these things set you apart from everyone else.

I receive so much joy just being able to see a smile on your face and glimmer in your eyes. If I ever figure out the magic that makes you so special, I’d probably find out that it’s a combination of so many special things. You are truly amazing.

Inside of me there is a place where my sweetest dreams reside, where my highest hopes are kept alive, where my deepest feelings are felt and where my favorite memories are safe and warm. I find that you’re on my mind more often than any other thought. Sometimes I bring you there purposely just to make my day brighter. But more often, you surprise me and find your own ways into my thoughts. There are even times when I awaken and I realize that you’ve been a part of my dreams. Then during the day, when my imagination is free to run, it takes me into your arms and allows me to linger there knowing there’s nothing I’d rather do. I know my thoughts are only reflecting the loving hopes of my heart because whenever they wander, they always take me to you.

Only the most special things in my world get to come inside my heart and stay. And now, I realize how deeply my life has been touched by you.

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